Quiet Mind
by sberryluv
Summary: Chris tries to help Alex after Alex injures his collar bone. Slash.
1. Chapter 1

They had wrestled Generation Me so many times they didn't even have to think about what to do. They had become complacent which is always dangerous. It's when injuries usually happen. The match had started out normal, but when Alex had done a simple roll through, the mat shifted, followed by a snap and the look of pain written all over Alex's face told Chris everything he needed to know. Alex had re-broken his collarbone, an injury he had suffered a few years before. Alex was able to finish the match mainly because Chris took it upon himself just not to tag Alex back in. Chris couldn't even remember how they had actually managed to win. Chris' sole concern was for Alex and to finish the match up as quickly as possible to get Alex backstage to the trainer.

After taking one look at the injury the trainer immediately sent them off to the ER for x-rays. Alex had been unusually quiet since the accident in the ring causing Chris to wonder if the injury was worse than a simple broken collarbone. Alex hadn't answered more than yes or no to the trainers questions instead letting Chris fill in any other needed information. The situation was exasperated when Chris' new girlfriend, Velvet, decided to tag along to the hospital with them. Chris knew Alex wasn't pleased when he had started to date Velvet even though they both frequently slept with random woman when they weren't with each other. Alex didn't like the fact that this was always the same woman Chris slept with and that Chris might actually have feelings for her. Chris was hoping Alex would talk to him on the ride to the hospital, but there was no way that was going to happen with Velvet in the car. Chris always tried his best to keep them apart, but Velvet was determined to come with and Chris couldn't tell her no.

Alex's silence continued through the hospital visit, where it was confirmed he had broken his collarbone, and on through the car ride back to the hotel. Velvet seemed more than please to talk incessantly to make up for Alex's lack of conversation; giving Alex ample opportunity to draw further into himself. Chris suggested they stay the night in Maryland and get some rest before flying back to Michigan. He had expected Alex to protest, but instead he just silently nodded his head in agreement unable to even make eye contact with Chris.

At the hotel Velvet had gone ahead to their room while Chris helped Alex carry his bags in, hoping to get some answers from Alex about his silence. Once in the hotel room Alex's eyes quickly shifted around the room and he jumped when some noisy kids ran down the hall. This combined with his silence and lack of eye contact all added to Chris' growing concern. When he questioned Alex about his behavior, Alex had told him not to worry and that he was fine and just needed some sleep. Knowing Alex was bluffing and not wanting to leave him, but unable to think of a sufficient excuse to tell Velvet why he wouldn't be returning back to their room next door, Chris kissed Alex goodnight and reluctantly left him alone.

Chris had fallen into a restless sleep when he was awoken by terrorized screaming coming from the next room and a voice shouting protests of "No!" over and over again. Chris sprinted out the door to Alex's room leaving Velvet to wonder what was going on, but too sleepy to really care. Walking into the room Chris observed Alex curled up on his left side, knees drawn to his chest, sobbing. The blankets were strewn everywhere. Even the fitted sheet had come undone. It looked like someone had been attacked. Chris accidentally let the door slam behind him causing Alex to jump, yelping in pain from his injured collarbone before crying out "Don't come near me." Which sounded more like a plea than a threat. "It's just me babe." Chris responded as he cautiously approached his frightened boyfriend. "Chris?" Alex turned trying to make out the figure in the dim light.

Gingerly laying down next to Alex as not to disturb his injury Chris stroked the waves of his boyfriend's dark brown hair. Chris gently urged Alex to open up about what tormented him while simultaneously trying to ease his fears. After twenty minutes of this Chris finely got Alex to break as he whispered "This isn't the second time I've broken my collarbone. It's the third." It was then the hotel phone rang causing them both to jump. Chris answered quickly wanting the intrusive noise to stop.

"What are you doing? What is his problem? When are you coming back?" the screechy voice of Velvet demanded. Chris coolly responded "I'll be back when I want." then hung up the phone and began cursing her out followed by "Alex, I'm sorry. I have to go, but I'll think of some excuse and come right back."

"No, please don't leave." Alex begged, too exhausted to keep up his aloof persona, clamping his left hand down on Chris' forearm. Unwrapping Alex's fingers and placing a kiss in the palm of Alex's hand before holding it between his own Chris repeated "I'll be right back. I promise."

Alex was sitting up in the middle of the bed trembling with his eyes focused down staring blankly at the cigarette burns on the bedspread left by the previous occupant. He did not acknowledge Chris when he entered the room a mere ten minutes later.

"See I told you I'd be right back, babe. Alex?"

Alex was too lost in his own thoughts to answer back.

"I told Velvet you had a bad reaction to the painkillers the trainer prescribed so I had to keep an eye on you the rest of the night. She won't bother us again."

Still getting no response, Chris grew increasingly concerned.

"I hope that's okay. It's the only thing I could think of to tell her. Alex?"

Now sitting behind Alex , Chris placed a gentle kiss to his lover's shoulder whispering "Alex, you can tell me now."

After getting no response again, Chris guided Alex back into his arms. Cradling him carefully as to not disturbed his injury Chris placed kisses on top of Alex's head while making him promises to always protect him.

Although, Chris didn't really know what he was protecting Alex from these reassurances seemed to calm Alex so Chris just kept repeating those words "I'll protect you." while kissing Alex's head and running a soothing hand down Alex's back. They both fell into an uneasy sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

The plane ride back from Maryland had not gone very smoothly. Alex freaked out when the TSA agent did a routine pat down on him, almost getting them kicked off their flight. Chris was thankful Velvet was with them this time as she sweet talked security into letting them still board the plane despite the disruption, while Chris attempted to calm Alex down.

That had been six weeks ago and Alex had only bothered to call Chris twice since and then it was only brief conversations about how his collarbone was healing. However, Chris was use to this kind of treatment from Alex and instead of taking it personally he shrugged it off as Alex being his normal moody self. Chris just went about his business, keeping himself busy with his other friends.

Chris had been entertaining those friends for most of the day on Sunday when Alex unexpectedly knocked on his door, making up some flimsy excuse about how his condo was being fumigated and how he couldn't possibly stay there. Chris saw through this, but chose not to question it and simply let Alex in.

Alex was taken aback by the five other people there at Chris' place. Being too absorbed in his own problems to notice all the extra cars parked out front. Alex hadn't meant to intrude, but he couldn't stand to be alone any longer and Chris was the only one that made his mind quiet from the negative memories that plagued him. Now feeling guilty for not calling Chris more and interrupting his party Alex decided to make his best effort to be social to please Chris. He made small talk about local bands, briefly joined in on a game of frolf, and played a round of Call of Duty when Chris had asked him.

Chris could tell what a struggle it was for Alex to be this social. Chris knew Alex just wanted to be alone with him. Chris wanted the same, but he knew he couldn't just kick his friends out with out raising a lot of questions neither of them were prepared to answer. Chris tried to make Alex feel at ease the best he could with out being overtly obvious to his friends. He tried to catch Alex's gaze and hold it just a few seconds longer than what is normal between friends while giving a halfhearted knowing smile. When Chris passed Alex in the kitchen he walked way closer than what was necessary and gently rubbed his hand on Alex's lower back ever so briefly before grabbing his drink and joining his friends back outside. And when they played video games Chris sat just close enough on the floor to Alex that their shoulders touched and occasionally their legs would brush against each other.

While these little gestures didn't go unnoticed by Alex and were appreciated, after a couple hours he had enough socializing and pretending and left the others in Chris' game room and found his way into the living room to watch TV. When the others would walk through to get a drink from the kitchen Alex would pretend to be asleep so he wouldn't have to answer any more questions and in turn wouldn't have to lie any more about how he really was.

Finally, around ten pm Chris' friends started to leave stating they had to get home to see their wives or girlfriends and how they had to go to bed because they all had normal jobs they had to go to in the morning.

As soon as Chris had closed the door on the last of his friends Alex was upon him forcing Chris backwards against the wall with all his body weight. Before Chris could speak Alex claimed his mouth in a brutal kiss. Chris then brought his arms up for an embrace, but Alex grabbed him by the wrists and pinned them down against the wall. Chris could feel Alex's hardness rub up against him causing a moan to escape Chris' lips before his mouth was captured once more by Alex. The kisses turned into bites, drawing blood from Chris' lips before moving down his neck. Whenever Chris would try to speak or move the bites would get harder and the hold around his wrist grew tighter. Though their lovemaking was not usually what Chris would describe as gentle this side of Alex took him off guard. Normally they were equal participants, but now Alex seemed to need complete control. More concerning than that to Chris was that Alex had not looked him in the eyes or spoke once. Despite his reservations Chris' body responded quickly as blood rushed to his groin. Alex's hands finally left Chris' wrists and Chris moaned again as he watched with anticipation as Alex undid his jeans relieving some of the pressure on his growing erection. Alex, however, remained silent and never returned Chris' gaze as he continued taking Chris' pants and briefs completely off before undoing his own just enough to release his cock. Chris reached out for Alex once more, but was promptly turned around, face to the wall. Alex briefly tried to stretch Chris' opening and then with a minimal amount of spit as lubricant forced himself into Chris. Unprepared, Chris' whole body tensed as he cursed under his breath. It was only then Alex paused, placing a gentle kiss on Chris' shoulder as a silent apology. Breathing heavily, Alex kept himself still. Reaching around he began to vigorously jack Chris off. Having been apart from Alex for the past six weeks and now having Alex's hands working on his cock, Chris' attention was quickly diverted from the pain. Less than a couple minutes had gone by when Chris balled up his fists and let out a short gasp sending cum dripping down the wall. Before his orgasm was even over Chris could feel Alex start to move again. Alex repeatedly thrust inside him at full force. Seeing that Alex did not want to be touched Chris concentrated on bracing himself against the wall and, though the pain had subsided some, Chris was thankful to know Alex would not last long at this pace. As Alex gave a few last thrusts he held his breath and bit down hard on Chris' shoulder, wrapping his arms around Chris, clinging to him as he finally released.

When Alex was finished he pulled his boxer briefs and jeans back up without saying a word and wandered off to the bathroom. Chris pulled himself together and moved to the living room. Turning on the TV and lying down on the couch he considered the right words to say to Alex to get him to open up. Upon his return Alex's face was expressionless which concerned Chris right away. Alex nudged Chris over and lied down on his back next to him, never making eye contact. Before Chris could even ask what was going on Alex calmly said "Let's just get some sleep, okay?".

Several infomercials later it was clear sleep would not come despite Alex's best effort to block out his problems. Tears slowly began to run down his face and he swallowed hard as the saltiness touched his lips. As Alex took in a deep breath Chris lifted his head off of Alex's chest and stared into a pair of mournful brown eyes. Chris desperate to ease Alex's pain pleaded with Alex to tell him what was wrong. And though Alex quickly averted Chris' gaze he began to talk. "The nightmares. They won't stop." Alex whispered before his voice was taken over by sobs.

Chris was horrified to learn Alex had still been having nightmares. He began mentally berating himself for not checking on Alex more and for being so naive for believing Alex when he said he was fine. Knowing now that Alex had been suffering alone for the past six weeks made Chris sick with guilt. Chris was determined now more than ever to get Alex to tell him whatever secrets he was keeping that would cause him such anguish.

Laying on his side facing Alex who was still on his back, Chris used his right arm to reach over Alex and pull him closer so Chris' face was pressed against Alex's cheek. Chris wrapped his left arm around the top of Alex's head and began stroking his hair.

Alex was relieved to not have to look directly at Chris. Having Chris' arms tightly wrapped around him holding him close and his warm lips brush against his cheek as Chris offered soothing words of encouragement to talk made Alex dizzy with feelings of warmth and peace.

Feeling secure Alex continued . . .

"The nightmares are about . . ." a long pause followed "from before when I was a child and I . . ." Alex drew in a deep breath before continuing "broke my collarbone when he, when he, when he . . ."

"When who Alex?" Chris asked.

"The . . . the priest." Alex's voice was shaky as he tried to continue "When I was about eight I would help out as an alter boy at weekday masses. Sometimes he would take me back to his office and force me to . . ."

Alex trailed off, turning his head away to ashamed to look at Chris.

Chris fought to maintain his composure as a white hot rage filled him at the realization of what Alex was confessing. Chris clung tighter to Alex to keep himself from jumping off the couch and finding and murdering the son of a bitch who would dare touch his Alex.

Keeping his voice calm, Chris whispered in Alex's ear "It's all right now. I'm here. Go on."

"This one time I tried to fight him" Alex's voice was barely audible at this point "But, it was no use. He put his hand around the base of my neck forcing me to my knees, breaking my collarbone in the process. When he was done with me he sent me home to tell my mom I injured myself playing a game of basketball in the school yard with friends."

The words raced out of Alex's mouth now, wanting to be done with the story so he could go back to blocking it all out.

"I thought with the injury he would leave me alone for awhile, but he didn't. I couldn't go to school for awhile because of the injury so he offered to sit with me during the day while my parents were at work and my sisters and brother were at school. I was all alone with him. He wouldn't stop. Nobody believed me. He was a fucken' priest. Everybody trusted him."

Shaking and sobbing Alex turned over, throwing himself into Chris' arms and burying his face in Chris' chest.

Chris thought how all of this not only explained the nightmares, but how it also must attribute to Alex's sometimes aloof behavior that others often mistook for smugness. Placing soft kisses in Alex's hair, Chris tried to still him as he worried about what memories and details Alex was clearly holding back. This thought made him see red.

Deciding the best course of action at the time was to focus solely on Alex's well being, Chris continued with soothing words as he tried to shelter Alex from his own haunting memories hoping that would be enough to bring Alex some peace at least for the night.


End file.
